Words, Visions, Dreams, Voices of an African Woman Expressed by Thulisa Qangule
What on earth do we do when we find ourselves standing on the edge of time?
Where on earth do we find anything tangible to hold on to, just so we can remind ourselves WHO WE ARE?
One of the most daunting thoughts is that of transition.
We are that generation of South Africans who were supposed to take the baton of liberation and that container that holds our predecessors dreams, and keep it safe, sealed and dent-free.
This is but a concept, an idea, a dream.
This gap between the ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ is wide enough to contain those without a name.
One step in one direction,and they have it all.
One step in the other direction and all is lost.
Fickle and volatile is the state of our collective emotions, the state of our collective sense of security.
Somebody mentioned it to me earlier that: ‘South Africa doesn’t have a secured middle class, especially the black middle class’ and I thought: ‘Yes!’
This is exactly the challenge here.
We stand on the edge of one deep valley, its a long way to fall down, a long way to climb up, often-times,a rough climb.
There’s too many characters fronting.
Too much inner turmoil.
Too much insecurity.
Where’s it all coming from?
Wanna dig deeper?
If I had to put up a mirror and have the previous generation stand on one side and THIS generation on the other: what would the reflections look like?
Even deeper is…
If I put THIS generation on the one side of the mirror and the NEXT on the other, what do the reflections look like?
Yes, I’ve seen how some of it looks.
I’ve seen the sons and daughters of some AMAZING people, whether known or unknown in their day and time, turn out to be GENIUSES.
I suppose, some of our voiceless heros and heroines of generations past really came to the party and through whichever medium, be it spirit, genetics, nature/nurture… Its all been positively magnified.
The child of that person confined in the mines whose turned out to be an amazing scientist, or musician or whatever else it may be.
The products of great child-bringing in some instances, showing evidence of whoever and however a particular home is.
We’ve also seen previously successful people have their kids transition into successes, further WOW.
But let’s not keep that carpet pressed on the backs of those whose stories and lives have turned out differently, we have to look at these things.
There are too many of us engaging in ‘learned behaviours’ that have taken us nowhere.
These people who indirectly or directly learned that boozing is a recreational activity and with no financial means don’t know anything other than drinking to allow time to pass…
These people who had no Father figures and are now faced with Fatherhood and Motherhood and no other model exists other than that of just not being there!
These people, who had parents but were swapped for careers and tenders and business deals. They must now grow up and try to be available spouses and parents and friends…How?
These people whose Mothers taught submission, even in the unhealthiest of circumstances is what you do to survive. They must now deal with injustices enforced upon them and learn to stand up.
These people whose food choices were ridden with guilt and the covering up thereof. I mean…Candy is one perfect example. Give the child a sweet, she’ll be at peace. So…
As adults the need for peace equals the run to the store, one more can of cola, one more cake, one more pie…obesity created and we didn’t see it coming.
These men and women brought up by parents who indulged in infidelity, because airing out their real feelings to each other as couples was just ‘improper’ and just a little short of being defined as TABOO. So what did people do?
Suppress it all and find another ‘secret’ companion to engage in escapism with.
‘My parents are my heroes, they can do no wrong’ …sound familiar? My childhood self too. Yeah.
‘When I grow up, I wanna be just like …’ That too is too darn familiar.
Just how much of me, you, we, us is really 100% Authentic?
And I mean, unless you’re the kind who digs deep and does a lot of introspection, it really seems like the average person is either a projection of someone’s expectations, a continuation of learned behaviours, experiences and internalised ideas and that sadly implies that…
What we see in the mirror is really just different pieces from many spaces glued unto self to create one thing.
Have you ever tried looking through such a mirror?
Try and get perfect clarity of what lies beyond a broken window…
Try and get to the ‘realness’ of what you see reflecting back at you through a mirror that’s made up of broken pieces.
THIS is the tip of the Iceberg and yet a necessary catalyst to really start pressing those ‘PAUSE II’ Buttons – just so we can be sane for us.
Sane for the next generation.
Nuff Love SoulJas and Souljahresses.
Thulisa Qangule©wrote this.