Words, Visions, Dreams, Voices of an African Woman Expressed by Thulisa Qangule

Let’s deal with this…

Image borrowed

Image borrowed

The definition of Feminism as I know it is: ‘advocating of gender equality for women’.

Do we all understand that this by no means gives instructions for women to then vilify men, or try and be men in the process of obtaining that equality?

Now here’s something very interesting…
We ALL have masculine and feminine energy contained within the self.
Even THE most feminine of women, carries the masculine element within the self.

Metaphysics teaches us that the left hand side(LHS) is the feminine aspect of the universe/cosmos and this is the dark, mysterious, emotional energy that also deals with creativity, clairvoyance, the realm of emotions and also a lot of healing, nurturing and soothing energy.
On this LHS, we also receive energy.
This is the source of perception,and anything to do with being ‘receptive’ as such.

The male aspect is represented by the Right Hand Side (RHS).
The RHS then deals with giving, action, execution of things, rational thought etc.
In other spaces, the masculine aspect is represented by lines and the feminine, by circles.

(Please note that in the image presented for this piece, the LHS is on your RHS)

In order for us to have any sense of balance, or even sanity, we need to somehow acknowledge both of these aspects (feminine and masculine) and without making any of the two inferior or superior in relation to each other.

What does this mean though? Do we even know how to obtain such balance?

I recall how as a little girl
Boys were the enemy.
I wanted to be one.
I could not stand being in the presence of something that I wanted to be and wasn’t.
I covered up for this by becoming a bit boyish in behaviour and attitude.
It was so extreme, if you wanted to punish me in primary school, then you’d have to get me seated next to a boy in class.

In later years, out of certain negative experiences with men that stood out, I declared war against the male gender.
This wasn’t physical war, this was very subtle and sub-conscious war.
It showed up and played itself out in some of the most intense ways, some examples below are:

*In relationships, I always wanted to compete, so I always ended up in situations where you have this battery that has two negative poles or two positive poles. It just doesn’t work.

*I became the strong woman, who, once in the presence of other women, took on somewhat of a masculine role. This without actually being a homosexual because the conflict then would come in when I’d find myself surrounded by women who would then develop ‘those’ kinds of feelings for me.

*At some point, all my close friends were men. I suspected at that point that I’d begun thinking and almost being like a man. Anything to do with anything ‘girly’ became a bore.

Now, the world we live in tends to give us some LOUD reminders of who we are and the roles people should play in society and I find this true in the South African context.
For one, a woman is sort of restricted from say…proposing to a man. Culture hasn’t reached a point where the Lobola (dowry) is going to be paid by the woman to the man’s family.
Our society validates most women,via their partners. Its one thing to earn respect, but oh the chauvenism and misogyny that takes place. *Oh My God*
In workplaces, being black is a tough reality and then one has to be black and female.
In some religions, you almost take second-class citizenship.

How is it possible, in a world where you kind of, almost have got to and will be exactly what the adversor is to conquer or overcome???

To cut a long story short…
There are a lot of ways where masculinity and machismo that I as a woman carried was as means to protect myself.
A lot of reasons linked to how there’s never really the ‘show me how’ display of what womanhood is really about and so what we do is to emulate what we see all the time…and we become almost like men.

I will say, for the most part…
FEMININE energy is mysterious, receptive, nurturing and without being WEAK.
Lessons learned the hard way through my body is when I developed uterine fibroids and this was nothing but my womanhood taking its toll from being hard and tough and almost manly.

Be kind. Yes.
Our bodies too are a reflection of the Manifestation of the Divine – in physical form.
I had to re-learn how to be and affirm over and over:
‘I am a woman. I am strong. I am independent. I am Intuitive. I walk side-by-side with the Masculine Divine.
I rock. I rule. I guide. I am powerful.
This…without being better or worse than a man, just EQUAL.

I have seen this very same issue manifest in the racial sense and I’m putting it out there.
Advocating for racial EQUALITY too by no means translates that you must step above others, push them down, suppress or oppress them just so you can say you love yourself.
Let’s today learn to love and appreciate ourselves and glow and beam everything there is to beam…
Without antagonising what we are not.
We actually lose nothing by NOT antagonising.

Thulisa Qangule©2014


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This entry was posted on June 28, 2014 by in Chronicles.
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