KwaNdlovukazi

Words, Visions, Dreams, Voices of an African Woman Expressed by Thulisa Qangule

Dive into the wind

I took a dive into the wind
Where my wings
Opened up like rose petals
Free!

I took a dive into the wind
Where I struggled with gravity,
the winds, the G force
Threatened to allow me to soar no further above the ground
Yet I could not reach the earth’s belly

Just above the surface

These winds taught me
That the only way to soar higher above
Is to make my spirit fitter
Not by making by @$$ tighter
The only way to make my voice heard across the valleys and hills is by enhancing my ability to express
Not by merely screaming louder
The only way out of the realms of things superficial
Is through the containment of things that resonate with my own inner-voice
My inner-verse

Propelled by forces beyond my comprehension I struggle to find my balance

Its scary up here
Yet
More frightening down there

The refusal to fly makes
The world place fire with no comforting ashes at the bottom of my feet
Until I refuse to
Not fly

Beyond the dust
Up against the thunder and lighting
This is a vicious sky my people
Up there
Where I
Dived into the wind

Things get so dark
Sometimes the darkness gets so seductive as it promises to wrap you up
And keep you locked up
Tucked in safely?
If you like to think that those things that keep you wrapped up are safe…
Hear me
These are superficial blankets that are
Of no use to our safety

Up against that thunder and lighting
I made a U-turn
Sometimes
The waters aren’t there to wash and cleanse us
The drops can ravage through one’s
Skin
And make you feel as though
You’ve been through the workings
Of
Some meat tenderiser
These are sometimes
Not good rains my people

These are spaces that are void of Light
Up there where the skies
Up against the wind
Seduce us into wearing them
Cloaks of fun
And so-called love
We make our entry and exclaim
We have arrived!

We elevate and make others feel
Less important
Ever so emptily significant
We rise
Rise up against the wrong kind of wind
Hovering above the bottomless pit
It calls our names through music and rhythm and rhymes and we say
Aah!
*Illa monate
**Illa monate until wena utsha
(*It resonates well **’till you burn)

Utlo tsha
Heh eh
Ntho enna ha isalle monate
Mfana, ntombazana
Phumani lapho tu
(You will burn, oh no, brother, sister, hurl yourselves out of there please)

Ill
Ill over there is no good
It travels with the JuddMan disguised as the JahMan
It travels with the M.U Sick Man
Guised as the Music Man
It travels with Prof. Sies
Disguised as Prophecies
It travels with No Money
Disguised as Normality

The kind of world
That makes me feel as though a dagger
Has gone through my soul
Huuh haah huuuah aaaargh hhhaaahhh
I gasp for breath
Up there I dive into the world and
Dive into the wind
I realise that sometimes riding with the flow of this wind is sweeter than always being on
The frontline
I dive into the wind
Things get rough
I am left with no feathers
It is not the feathers that keep me going
But the wings
I dive into the wind
Wiser
This time I hold a sword
A gnob
A spear
I know when it is time to allow
The sunrays to dance with me
Well into liberation
I know when it is time to allow
The clouds to envelop everything and allow
For mystery to reveal itself from
Behind scenes
I know
When it is time
To get out of the way
To allow
For the blessed kind of rain
To shower us
I know when it is time
To allow
The dust of this soil
To rise
As each and every footstep
Of our people embeds itself
In God’s ears like the sound
Of an eternal drum

I know
It is not easy when you’re up there
Soaring high

To those on the ground you may
Appear as tiny as a dot
Of ink flying about aimlessly
With your rhythms spelling nothing
To those flying with you, you may
Appear as a mate
To those who push the winds
From behind you, you may
Appear as a leader
To those who fly ahead of you
Looking behind them you may
Appear just as a follower
To self
You’re still learning to fly
Yet
Never ever letting go
Of the daring spirit
Just
So
You
Can unwrap your wings
And take one more
Dive into the wind.

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This entry was posted on November 14, 2015 by in Poetry.
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